Dear Filly,
What are you thankful for this semester?
Sincerely, Grateful Gary
Dear Garry,
Mr. Garry, my very large equine heart is absolutely filled with gratitude. Did you know that horse hearts are 10 times larger than human hearts? This is why I am so loving and kind, and the ability to be with others and spread cheer is what I love doing most. I am grateful for my incredible friends, my loving family, my very full food trough, and the soft hay I lay on each night.
I’m also grateful for all the opportunities ABAC has given me! From the Stallion, for allowing me to run this column, to the amazing students and faculty who support our paper! Before horses were banned from the Carlton center, I saw how hard everyone works on the paper. Our readers make that work worth it! More than anything, if you feel grateful for someone, tell them! Never be afraid to show someone love; they deserve to know how much they mean to you! Sharing moments like that is what makes life amazing.
Sincerely, Filly
Dear Filly,
What is the dumbest question you’ve been asked?
Maliciously, Glomabella Gunch
Dear Glomabella,
How can I be more mid? How can I bore my audience to death? Dear glomabella, how can I run my column into the ground and get replaced by Filly? Dear Lord, you’re back for more. Rest assured our dearest old mascot, when I see your name, I can be assured it’ll be one of the worst. Can you please stop returning to beg for relevancy? You’re killing the vibe of my column!
Filly doesn’t believe in “dumb” questions. Knowledge is power, which is why you remain weak. It’s better to ask a “silly” question than to not care at all. Now, there are questions where I pick my words carefully, like earlier they were out here eating hay… but that’s beside the point. For me, questions from students who are struggling are the ones that I hate, because I hate seeing our wonderful ABACians going through it! But that’s why I’m here, to spread comfort and joy, and that’s why you’re not. Thank you!
Sincerely, Filly