Bethany Rentz:
I am not a Swiftie by any means. I consider Taylor Swift to be an untalented, money-hungry parasite in the music industry. Her latest album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” only proved me right.
The 35-year-old singer-songwriter (if you can call her that) reportedly composed the album’s lyrics completely solo. Imagine my surprise when a 13-year-old middle school girl was not credited with the writing.
Beginning with “The Fate of Ophelia,” Swift seems to be trying desperately to recreate the almost Shakespearean nostalgia that’s echoed in other hits like “Love Story,” but it severely misses the mark.
With juvenile lyrics about prom, “bossing up,” and “girlbossing too close to the sun,” the lyrics whine from the dried-out pen of a 35-year-old who imagines herself as a teenager while simultaneously fantasizing about settling down and being intimate… kind of a creepy juxtaposition if you ask me.
“CANCELLED!” seemingly pokes fun at the well-deserved flack Swift has gotten from hanging out with known Trump supporters like Brittany Mahomes. Singing about their “matching scars,” I have to wonder if these lyrics reveal more about Swift’s character than her plate of Biden 2020 cookies.
The commentary in “Honey” almost made sense. Swift’s commentary on sweet nicknames being hijacked and turned into condescending insults is relevant and important.
But she doesn’t follow through with her commentary, as she implies that the cure to those insults is for the names to come from the “right guy.” At least she has Travis Kelce, who probably requires condescension to understand anything.
Lyrical content aside, Swift’s vocals, as usual, fall flat throughout the album. From lazy pitch to obvious vocal edits, Swift’s vocal tone is about as dry as the pen she wrote her lyrics with. Lacking mechanical expertise, awkward phrasing and breaths are layered on top of her consistently flat pitch.
I give this album a 1.4 out of 10. Some of the production, credited mostly to Max Martin, was solid. The visuals were exaggerated, completely mismatched from the album’s content.
“The Life of a Showgirl” is a new low for Swift, but one thing is certain: No matter how egregiously bad her songs are, Swift will continue to scam her fans into sending her billions— ethically, of course.
Briana Hernandez:
I’ve been a big fan of Taylor Swift for quite some time; I personally believe it’s enough time to call myself a Swiftie and to be able to have an opinion about her music.
As a kid, I had the opportunity to go to two of her concerts, listen to her wide-ranging discography, and just genuinely enjoy her music, which makes me even more disappointed about her most recent album.
My perspective about Swift’s lyricism and her questionable marketing choices have slowly shifted after the
past couple of years. Before the “The Life of a Showgirl” was released, I was very excited after seeing posts on her Instagram showing the album cover and track list.
It led me as well as many other fans to believe that we would get more burlesque sounds in this album, but we were highly wrong.
When I was done listening to the album, I questioned if I listened incorrectly or if I was missing something entirely. It didn’t sound or feel like her. It felt like the album was trying so hard to be someone else. It felt like a Walmart-brand Sabrina Carpenter album with dumbed down and lazy lyrics.
The only song I really can remember and that somewhat stuck with me was “The Fate of Ophelia,” which is catchy, but I dislike the meaning behind the song and the representation of the character Ophelia.
In the Shakespearean play “Hamlet,” Ophelia is a tragic character who is manipulated and suffers from
the hands of the men around her, restricting her individuality.
The only way for her to escape their grasp and gain her freedom is by drowning herself in the river. She is truly a tragic character, but I found nothing like her characterization in this song. It’s disappointing to see the potential unrealized.
I could deep dive into each individual songs, highlighting problems such as “Opalite” and its racial undertones or even the problematically ironic lyrics of “CANCELLED!” but there are plenty of videos breaking down the album and discussing how much of a disaster this album is.
I really wish I could have enjoyed this album, but sadly I give it a generous 2/10, not only for its lyrics but also its instrumentals.
“The Life of a Showgirl” has ultimately let me down. While every fan or even non-fan has their own opinions, all I can hope is for fans to set standards for our favorite artists… even Ms. Swift herself.