The normalization of hyper independence is directly causing the “loneliness” epidemic that a lot of people are suffering from.
Hyper-independence is an extreme form of self-reliance where an individual compulsively avoids relying on others for support or assistance.
In our current society, people are highly encouraged to rely on, themselves, creating an individualized society that is afraid to ask for help, men and women alike. Due to individuals refusing to ask for help and overworking themselves, there are high levels of stress and burnout.
Men tend to feel these emotions more, being viewed as weak when asking for help in different activities or even mocked and laughed at when seen struggling with something, creating the pattern of behavior we see today: ask for help, get laughed at, and don’t ask for help again.
Reaching out to someone for some comfort or advice and they mock you? Definitely not ideal and definitely deterring you from reaching out about something like that again.
The problem with this is as people reach out and receive negative responses, they won’t reach out when it really matters, the exact opposite of a “boy who cried wolf” moment.
Within this current, hyperindependent society, these cycles are
continuous and many.
I started a conversation with a stranger as we waited in line for a concert, and she expressed to me how difficult it is to reach out and ask
for any form of help, especially as an eldest daughter.
As a fellow eldest daughter, I can relate to this. The pressure put on you by family and society is difficult to wrestle with, and as society closes the doors to vulnerability through hyper independence, it only gets harder.
So, how does one stop the cycle of hyper-independence?
I am not the person to ask; I struggle with this all of the time. But I can say that carrying the burden of living through this society of people
who are hyper-independent becomes easier with a sense of community, creating a group of people you can trust with the vulnerable things is so valuable.
Finding like-minded people who have genuine care for those around them, carry kindness in their pocket and can make you laugh is unbeatable, and I encourage everyone to try to find them.
Creating a group of friends, slowly but surely, making sure you can trust those individuals with the good, the bad, and the dirty, makes living life in this society much more bearable.
For help with feelings of loneliness and stress management, visit the Counseling Center in the Health Sciences building.
If you’re looking for ways to get involved on campus, email Campus Activities Director Shawn Burnette at douglas.burnette@abac.edu.