Blood relation is the deepest connection possible in humanity, but the most important relationships to you and your mental health should instill happiness. If a family bond is toxic to your own health, then you need to drop it and surround yourself with others, even if they are not blood relatives. The infamous phrase, “Blood is thicker than water,” stated by family members cause a feeling of guilt and an obligation to feed into it.
It is expected that you serve your family regardless of your own emotions and mental health, and I have had my fill on it. I am finished with the family who cannot recognize my value, especially since I have finally found my self-worth. I refuse to strain myself because of high expectations, and I refuse to obey and succumb to every little thing asked of me and undergo manipulation. Justifying immoral behavior only because we are blood is no longer an acceptable excuse.
When chosen for mutual gain, friendships are even more supportive and healthy than kinship. Certain toxic family members choose to chastise another member for their differing religious, political or romantic beliefs. The pressure to be the greatest in athletics, academics or social popularity also affects those with negative family ties. Personally, I faced pressure in the academic region.
A significant blood relative of mine caused me to believe that I needed to be my graduating class’ Valedictorian, or the lesser recognized Salutatorian, so he could afford the beach house he desired. If I earned a spot as one of the top two academically outstanding students in my graduating high school class, I would receive enough scholarships and grants to pay for my own college tuition.
He brought a child into this world and consented to the inevitable financial hit, yet he chose to push me to the edge of the academic cliff to avoid spending money on me for his own benefit.
At the time, I did not consider this behavior as toxic and brushed it off my shoulders. I worked my hardest and eventually earned the spot for Salutatorian, yet I still felt empty and unaccomplished. I realized that I never truly needed the title and that I did not work towards it for my own benefit.
The only thing I ever wanted was the approval and affection from my father, but I never received that. In turn, I gained a way of cutting the financial ties to him.
The gateway to splitting the toxic emotional barrier stood in front of me, and I took advantage of it. I made an extremely difficult choice and ceased all contact with him. I stopped answering his phone calls, I started ignoring his texts, and I blocked his number.
It may have been a rash decision, and most people may think I handled the situation in the wrong way, but I no longer care about what others think. I know the best choices for me, and my sensitive personality could no longer take the stress he brought upon me. I never felt good enough for him or anyone else, and it affected all relationships I partook in.
Cutting my father out of my life has been the best choice for me, and those who struggle with similar situations must know that you do not stand alone in this fight.
Dropping toxic people, especially family, helps you in an immense way. There are people in this world who care for you, and those individuals wait eagerly for you to join their loving community.